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ST. LOUIS (AP) -- The St. Louis Cardinals, looking for a stalwart, long-term third baseman, acquired Joe Randa from the Montreal Expos on Wednesday in exchange for Andy Benes and BJ Surhoff. The Cardinals also received $6 in cap cash from the Expos.

St. Louis GM Ryan Reynolds, still recovering from what he described as a "nasty post-All-Star Game hangover" said he was happy about the deal.

"We get a solid infielder who hits for a good average, and we also clear out some cap room to do some signing for 2000," Reynolds said. "That $6 should be an immense help."

The move will leave the Cardinals well below the salary cap for the 2001 season and, as Reynolds put it, with a "solid, solid infield."

Randa joins Barry Larkin, Mark Grace and all-star Randy Velarde around the horn. It will also inject more youth into an aging Cardinals squad.

"Well, at 29 Randa's not a spring chicken, but he's 5 years younger than BJ," Reynolds said.

Surhoff was hitting around .270 this year for St. Louis. Benes was 5-7 on the mound.

"What can I say? I thought I'd get to retire here in St. Louis," Benes said. "But these things happen."

Also: The Cards expect Ramiro Mendoza to assume Benes' role as the 5th starter in the St. Louis rotation. Jimmy Haynes will now be relied on for long relief.

Brewers Wake Up

Milwaukee (AP)-The Milwakee Brewers have awakened.

Earlier today, the Brewers made an 8 player deal with the Phillies and late this evening have made yet another deal.

This time, the Brewers shipped OF Rusty Greer, up and coming star 1B Erubial Durazo, and young SS Orlando Cabrerra to the Montreal Expos for SP Garret Stephenson, CL Billy Koch, SS Mark Loretta and 1B JT Snow.

"We really did not want to part with a young talent like Durazo," stated GM Joe Chapman, "however, in order to make a deal, he had to be a part of it."

Durazo, a budding star for the past few seasons in the Mexican leagues, said, "I no want to be traded. I hit de ball muy bien. Do dey eben sell burritos inCanada?"

After the trade was announced, Brewer manager Robin Yount said, "You always hate to lose a great player like Greer. He is a constant professional and always puts up big #'s. With his speed, power, and overall ability, he can bat just about anywhere in the lineup. But when you need pitching as bad as we do, you have to make the move, and when you do, you have to give up quality players."

Then with a smirk on his face, the ever talkative Yount stated, "With all the movement here today, I think we will need to have name tags in the clubhouse."

Phillies almost double pitching budget!!

Lieberthall is gone. Many in the Phillies organization have secretly criticized owner Mike Devine for not milking enough out of the only two good players in Pennsylvania, but none can deny that a deal had to be made.

"When Octavio Dotel is making more money then the rest of your staff combined, and multiplied by two you need some help on the mound", pitching coach Mitch Williams said when he found out about the deal.

The deal removes Green, Leiberthall and Brogna from a team that had no direction whatsoever. Upon buying the team, owner Mike Devine, found that the previous owners had forgot two things:

  • To build a minor league system.
  • That high ERA's are a bad thing.

    "We had a lot of offers from around the league, but none could include a bona-fide #2 starting pitcher, which equates to about two #1's on our team, and still give us some hitting in return. Now if I could just figure out how to spell Palmeiro..", said a relieved Mike Devine after almost 56 straight hours of negotiating.

    Did the Phillies get better? Hard to say. Did the get worse? That is fortunately impossible, which provides a strong negotiating position for Phillidelphia. A long season for the Vetarens Stadium squad just got a little....well...different.

    Milwaukee, Philly hook up in 8 player deal

    June 30, 2000

    MILWAUKEE (AP)- The Milwaukee Brewers, the most prolific trading team in FJBL history, have made yet another move.

    The team, which had been dormant for months, pulled off a blockbuster with the Philadelphia Phillies. The Brewers sent 1B Rafeal Palmeiro, 3B Travis Fryman, SP Kenny Rogers, OF Ricky Ledee, and C AJ Hinch to Philly for, OF Shawn Green, C Mike Lieberthal and oft-injured 1B Rico Brogna.

    "Shawn is a superstar, Mike is one of the best catchers in the league, and Rico's solid #'s speak for themselves," stated Brewer GM Joe Chapman, "there is no way in hell we are going to pass up the opportunity to acquire these players."

    Brewer fans seem to echo Chapman's sentiments. "Man, that man AC Green can shoot a ^%$$# jumper," stated a confused and drunk Brewer fan outside Super Wal-Mart, "just don't trade for Bobby Bonilla. I need a %^%^# drink."

    Although the Jewish Shawn Greem looks nothing like the chaste AC Green, Brewer fans hope that Shawn can be a part of a dynasty in Milwaukee, like AC was in LA.

    Phillies bought out from Australlians by excentric decal mogul

    June 21, 2000

    PHILADELPHIA

    In a stunning deal late on the night of June 19th a crazy young mogul of the helmet decal/ bumper sticker industry accidentially bought the Phillidelphia Phillies.

    "I thought he was selling women."says stunned new owner Michael Devine.

    After finding no loop holes to get out of owning the team 16 games behind the division leading Cubs, Mike put together a list of priorities for turning this into a winning franchise that the young phillies he orginally wanted would love to be around.

    He feels that this will help.

    After a giant parade held in his honor due to his committment to the phillies, his wife suggested he make a committment to the Phillies instead. He has agreed.

    Amist all the hub-bub there are rumors of a falling out between the new owner and his star catcher Mike Leiberthall. "He either better trade me or learn how to spell my name.", the catcher said. Mike Devine has refused to learn how to spell the catchers name.